A long awaited post

I've practically stopped writing on this blog, owing to the numerous changes that have occured in the last one year. But, I didn't stop writing (thank God!). And here's a collection of some of the stuff that I wrote. Hope you like it. :)

The first one's this -

If I had words for my thoughts

To me, the world is what is was when it was created. When the big bang that made every tiny atom on this planet, echoed silently through the vastness of the universe. When the earth was nothing but a mass of endless emptiness. When clouds obscured vision and when sound was yet to be discovered. Before language, before civilisation. Before the beginning of everything. When oblivion was all that existed. 

It is a different world. My eyes see nothing, my ears are deaf to every sound and words seem incapable of making it out of my mouth. But, I feel things. I can sense when people walk away, and the anguish that develops in the closed compartments of my mind after that. I can feel touch. It's funny how you can decipher the feelings of a person just by their touch. The soft tender touch, that is so familiar. The hard pressed touch of a person, evidently frustrated by the lack of my senses. The nudges, the rough prods and pokes that people do as they scurry past me. Sometimes it gets cold and sometimes it gets hot. Very hot. I can feel sweat dripping down the worthless organs of my face. I feel chills. Occasionally, people help me out. They provide some aid. But, a lot of times, I am lost, with no one to understand my pain. Pain is weird, it's a funny emotion. It burns through flesh and muscle, yet I can feel no injury with my hands. It stings and hurts. I wonder what it is like? A physical entity? An abstract phenomenon? Or just a figment of imagination?  Why does this pain, that leaves no physical signs, hurt the most? And where do I find its cure? 

Unaware of these answers, I live my life. Waiting for the pain to hit. A jab in my ribs, a burn in the contents within, that no one can heal.  

And here's another - 

If my memories existed

I look at things. Birds, trees, cars and men. There is a shadow that seems to cloud my vision. Faces come and go. And I am never able to catch hold of them. The lady sitting next to me is looking after me. She looks familiar but I don't know her. She has a slightly maudlin nature. Her eyes start glimmering as I sit reminiscing about old days. She is hopeful about something. Something to provide her solace. But, I end up disappointing her. She is sobbing into a handkerchief with Julia and Mark embroidered on it. To please her, I call out her name. She's thrilled to hear it. Her eyes importune me for something more. For what, I can't recall. Her name's Julia, that's all I could make out. She whispers a name, into my ears. I hear it. I want to remember it. Hold on to that memory with my dear life. But, I am drowning. Drowning in a sea of nihility. 

I promise, there's just one more - 

If Ending could speak

I come like a wave, crashing down on the first thing I see. With no sympathy, commiseration or pity, I break down the walls that were once erected on foundations of warmth, love and integrity. My face is a mask, showing no remorse, or guilt as I cause havoc in lives of the young and bold. I hurt and break and wreck lives. I am blamed, judged and accused. Insolent and stone-hearted, I am called. But, my face's a mask, you see. 

Parts of me go crashing as I crash into the lives of people. My soul gets torn apart as I tear apart bonds. Are those tears that roll down my cheeks, when I hear someone imprecating me? They reach out for Death instead of accepting me. They call for him to rescue them. Am I more appalling than my accursed friend? Is it not wrong to think of me so? Nothing hurts me more than that. Rage overcomes me. And I go crashing into them again. 

And the last one (penned it down today) -

If we could bid adieu to Fatalism

What's meant to be, will happen. What's not, just don't bother about it. Fatalism. One word, that ruined mankind. Acceptance is the Law of God, they say. Don't wander off, don't seek. If you can't reach the grapes, just call them sour. It sounds hilarious, and yet we've "accepted" this ideology. But why settle? If you can have the moon, then why can't we reach out for the stars? Stop. Breathe. Think. Dream. If opportunity hasn't knocked yet, have you ever thought of building a door? If roses are cliche, why not look for tulips. If mauve is dull, and turquoise too loud, then why settle for either? Why look for a map, when you can make one of yours? Don't wait for a story to be written for you, grab that pen and begin. If life throws you lemons, stop trying to make yourself a lemonade. Consider throwing away those damned lemons. 

That's it for today. I'll be more regular, I promise!